Winding Down

On the first leg of our trip, we headed towards the Washington Coast, landing in Hoquiam. We were so full of excitement as we pulled into our first hotel room. We had done it, we were on our way. We had decided to stay in hotels for awhile until we got somewhere that was warmer than freezing at night. It was late, and we were all tired. We got settled in and the kid's were watching TV while Husband was on the computer, when it hit me: something was not right. Instead of feeling happy and free, I was a mess. I was stressed and full of fear. I wasn't sure where we would end up. I wanted a home again and a kitchen. However, I thought I would wake up feeling better in the morning, after all, it had been such a long day.

We got on the road again first thing in the morning, and began our descent down the coast of Oregon. The day was absolutely gorgeous. Sunny skies, clear and blue. Though it was still 40 degrees outside, the sun was great for happy travels. The kids in the back kept asking when we were getting to a hotel again. I figured we would stay in Seaside, as we always had loved it in the past, but my husband wanted to get further down and get to the warmer South as soon as possible, so after lunch on the beach, we kept driving. We drove and drove until we reached Lincoln City. Again, it was late, and as soon as we found a hotel with a pool, we checked in.

I really didn't think our trip would feel so rushed. We were so rushed to get out of our apartment for the prior week to our trip, and it just seemed like we were still in a big hurry. I thought we would stop at places along the way to explore, but instead, it felt like a distraction to our goal of getting to the warmth so we could camp. I felt queasy inside, something I couldn't shake. Adding to my homeless grief, I began to feel like I was coming down with something. After eating Taco Time for dinner, I was just messy. Body, mind and spirit. It was time to collect myself. I had the husband take the kids to the pool, and I began to cry. I cried for all the things lost, for all my ideals not immediately coming into fruition, and for hotel rooms with bleached sheets and stinky soap. I cried about fast food, and lack of a kitchen. After I was done, the boys had returned so happy from the pool, I felt blessed by their smiles and hugs. We cozied in, and we all fell asleep. When I woke up to the next sunshine morning, everything seemed to be more relaxed and with a bit more hope, though I still had a queasy feeling in my gut.

After talking with my husband, we decided to stay in this hotel, one more night. This would give us a day off the road and a chance to regroup. So we walked to the beach and had so much fun. We made up our soon to be famous "Hide the Rock" song, flew kites, and let the waves of water chase us. My youngest was the first one to get caught. The fresh air was wonderful. Husband and I talked about getting back on our original plan. You know, like eating healthier, watching little to no TV, walking everyday, and enjoying where we are at the moment, without feeling like we need to be getting somewhere else, or to some other goal. This is huge for us. We have been working toward a future goal...well...since we met. It is hard to put yourself in a place where there is no goal. The only goal is to just be.
That night, we found a health food store. We decided while we were hotel-ing it, we would have the hotel breakfast, eat out at lunch, and then eat a smaller, colder, natural and organic healthy dinner. By the next morning, I began feeling myself and excited to get back on the road.

We drove past Newport and found our way to the Yaquina Head Lighthouse. We decided it was a must see. No one in our family had ever climbed a lighthouse before, that we could remember, and we felt we had to do it. It wasn't until we climbed the first set of steps that I remembered my intense fear of heights. Soon about halfway up, my youngest announced, the he too was afraid of going much higher. We took deep breaths and didn't look down and the next thing we knew, we were at the top! What a breathtaking view! My target heart rate had been hit, and it was time to climb down. Husband took care of our youngest as he announced he couldn't get down. So sweet, he went down the entire staircase on his bottom with my husband behind him encouraging his abilities. I was clinging to the outside wall as my oldest child continued to reminded me that we were almost to the bottom. We had made it, and as weak as it may seem, a huge step for me, in fact, they gave away buttons that said, "I survived the climb at Yaquina Head Lighthouse." I still wear it proudly on my jacket.

We drove to Florence and as I still felt a little queasy, (at this point I decided from car sickness and windy roads) the boys all went out to jump and play in the sand dunes, while I took a nap. I went to sleep clinging to the comfort of my new home and awoke to the boys back and sandy and laughing. They had a blast, and luckily my husband had videotaped the fun, which I got to watch later. As we drove on, the boys began singing in the back and we knew they were truly happy.

Our last stop in Oregon, was Bandon, where we found a great place with an ocean view and a kitchen! I was able to whip up dinner and breakfast, and found out something. The hearth really is the heartbeat of the home, and any hearth with do. I never realized how important cooking for my family was for me until that day. My husband and older son went to hit some golf balls at the Bandon Dunes Golf Resort, while my youngest and I went swimming. When we were all packed up and on the road the next day, I no longer felt queasy, we were taking our time and having fun. Hope is back. Excitement is in the air. California here we come!